Senior Moments


By Bob Batz



Have you ever noticed how winter weather brings out the real silliness in people?

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone says to me “Cold enough for you today?”

I keep wanting to reply “Are you kidding? Cold enough for me? No way! It’s only 20 below zero. I’m hoping it gets to 55 degrees below zero at least.”

For gosh sakes of course it was cold enough for me. What a stupid question!”

There are other ridiculous things said too whenever a typical Midwest winter settles into this part of the country.

I met a man on a elevator recently who smiled at me and said “It looks like winter is here, huh?” What a silly thing to say.

During another cold spell several other people Several other people said things like “Boy, this is a nice night to be inside in front of a fireplace.”

I also heard at least 400 different reasons WHY the weather gets so cold in this part little corner of America.

One guy suggested that the bitter cold weather was caused by a shift in the polar ice cap. Another believes the frigid conditions are caused by meteors hitting the earth’s surface and another blamed the frigid weather on the fact that Americans use to much spray deodorant that causes big leaks in the ozone layer or some such thing.

Why do some people get so upset about the weather outdoors?

If the temperature suddenly drops to 105 degrees above zero or 83 degrees below zero in less than six minutes that’s news. But your average everyday temperature outside just isn’t all that exciting.

What I mean is if I want it to rain all I have to do is wash my car or plan a family picnic and it’s a cinch we will see lots and lots of rain here in my little corner of the universe.

I also can get rid of the nicest weather if I smear my entire body with tanning lotion and lay down on a blanket in my back yard.

Shortly before last winter’s biggest snowstorm I heard somebody – a skier obviously – complaining about the fact that we hardly have any major snowstorms in this party of the country.

So you know what I did?

I took the snow tires off my car.

Two hours later there was a foot of white stuff covering the ground.

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By Bob Batz

Bob Batz is a retired journalist and area resident and guest columnist. Contact Bob at bbatz@woh.rr.com

Bob Batz is a retired journalist and area resident and guest columnist. Contact Bob at bbatz@woh.rr.com

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