The world is filled with lots of little things that challenge me in a big way on almost a daily basis.
For example, I’ve never been able to fold a fitted bed sheet in less than two, maybe three hours.
I try and try to do it the right way – if there is such a thing – but time and time again the sheets end up on the bedroom floor with enough wrinkles in them to hold a three-day rain.
That kind of thing happens to me all the time.
What are considered easy tasks by some men my age often turn out to be nightmares for me.
It’s 9:20 on a Friday morning when I head for a grocery store that isn’t my favorite grocery store but I think I’m prepared for that.
I have my list of things to buy tucked away in my coat pocket.
I’m hoping I am in luck but then I discover there are at least 3,000 cars in the store parking lot but after some searching, I find an empty parking spot and head for the store.
My first task is to find a grocery cart and I grab the closest one to me but after taking two or three steps I discover the cart has a wobbly wheel so I turn around, grab a new cart from the cart corral or whatever they call it and head into the store.
That’s when I suddenly notice the cart I chose has a broken wheel and the grocery list in my jacket pocket has mysteriously disappeared.
That pretty much tells the story of the many challenges I face each day because of my bad luck.
I go into a clothing store, see, and I notice they have sweat shirts labeled “one size fits all” but when I try on one of the shirts it is at least six sizes too large.
That reminds me of the time I went into a car dealership with a huge sign out front that says “MAKE US AN OFFER” so I made the salesman an offer and I’ll bet he didn’t stop laughing for at least five days.
I hate two-for-one sales, too.
The last time I was at one of those sales I found a couple of shirts that I really liked and then I discovered there was only one shirt left on the shelf.
And last but not least I saw some really nice pants on a store shelf and there was a wee little sign next to the display that promised “No reasonable offer refused.”
So I found a sales clerk and made him an offer and he was still laughing out loud when I left the store.
Bob Batz is a retired long-time journalist and weekly columnist. Contact Bob at [email protected]