I have a special place in my heart for all of the faithful readers of Senior Moments.
They pay me back by frequently sending me column items.
Many of the following headlines came from a reader named Fred.
Fred, like yours truly, loves oddball headlines and he has shipped me a few of his favorites from the past.
· War dims hope for peace.
· Be sure to include your children when baking cookies.
· Killer sentenced to die for the second time in 10 years.
· Cold war linked to temperatures.
· Kids make nutritious snacks.
· New test for obesity looking for larger test group.
· Typhoon rips through cemetery: Hundreds dead.
· President wins in budget cut battle but more lies ahead.
· New vaccine may contain rabies.
· Utah girl does well in dog show.
· Corduroy pillows make headlines.
· Man struck by lightening may face battery charges.
· Hospital sued by seven foot doctors.
· Survivor of Siamese twins joins parents.
· Towns OK animal rule.
· Neighbors organize to restore eyesores.
· Warranty aids homeowners with defects.
· If strike isn’t settled quickly, it could last awhile.
· Drunk gets nine months in violin case.
· Eye drops off store shelf.
· Bob’s Pun of the Day: A judge went to the dentist and before the dentist could begin extracting one of the judge’s teeth, his honor asked ‘Do you swear to pull the tooth and nothing but the tooth, so help you God?”
Bob Batz is an area resident, long-time retired journalist and guest columnist. Contact Bob at firstname.lastname@example.org.